Go High
I was talking to a friend the other day about how difficult it is to deal with people who tend to ‘Go Low’ in their behaviour.
By that I mean not being honest or upfront in their interactions with others, rather going behind people’s backs and speaking in a mean or unkind way about them. Think College days!
The impact is that it’s very challenging to know how to deal with what the situation actually is, if people will not be direct with us. I personally find it bizarre that they cannot come and talk to the situation directly, as normal functioning adults would.
The challenge is to try and find a way to go high when their behaviour is a direct opposite to that, and they go low. Our minds don’t help by focusing on this, rather than the job at hand, so sometimes the day can feel long and difficult! I know there are many of us who experience this often, and find it frustrating and time consuming.
I’ve eventually come to realise that I can only control what I do, what I think, and how I behave, so I’ve decided to ‘go high’ and, for what its worth, it looks something like this:
Be straight up in all my dealings with people
Ask the person directly what is going on, what their thoughts are
Mention that I am always open to their feedback as if I know about it, I can deal with it
Talk about me feeling more comfortable with a direct and transparent approach, and asking what kind of approach they prefer
If none of the above feels comfortable, go and have a chat with a trusted friend or advisor
We can’t control what someone else will do, but we can control how we see the situation. That doesn’t mean we have any power over what will happen, but it certainly means we have the capacity to be the best we can be and look after ourselves in any given situation. I know that for some of us it can be really difficult to have our own back and stand in our truth, but that is all we have at the end of the day, and the only person we are accountable to, is the one who stares back at us in the mirror.
My wish is that we honour who we are, value what we bring, and stop giving our power away to those that don’t deserve it.
Knowing who we are, knowing what makes us special and unique is a gift, and we don’t need to be anything for others, that does not resonate within ourselves.
If we go high in all situations, we stand a chance that people notice that, and may even begin to reflect it in their own behaviour. Don’t ever minimise the gift that you bring by being exactly who you are. People will respect that because they will sense that. Who you are is shining through without you needing to promote any aspect of yourself. Trust that you have this, trust that you know who you are, and that you are indeed, the person that goes high.