New Year Resolutions

To be honest when I think of people making New Year’s resolutions I always silently shudder. To my mind, if you wanted to do something you would have already made it happen, and deciding to do it at a time of year when everyone is tired and recovering from Christmas seems unrealistic.

For you as a survivor, the last thing you need heading into 2025 is pressure to make something else happen, at a time when you just managed to get through what was potentially the most difficult time of the year for you.

In other words, don’t be too hard on yourself if you find your motivation lacking, instead try and focus on acknowledging what you did manage to achieve over the last 12 months. This may be this simple as getting up for work every day, even on those days when you may have been struggling with anxiety or feelings of overwhelm.

This is also a time when you may like to take stock and recognise where you are in terms of personal relationships and interactions that feel challenging.

Not everyone recognises how confronting that is for you, but it certainly needs a mention here. Negotiating conflict and difficult conversations is quite a skill and can feel almost impossible, so to manage and be able to overcome some of those, is a real credit to you and one I believe you can assimilate. In fact you have probably been more proficient and successful than you were this time last year, it’s just your mind doesn’t allow you to dwell on positives, so recalling them now is a welcome reminder.

Also pertinent at this time of year is not all things are equal, meaning not all people cope in the same way that you do.

For you as a survivor there will be situations you have overcome that your non survivor friends and family would not be able to grasp. This is why, rather than making brand new resolutions, reflecting on what you have achieved becomes more powerful and meaningful to you. Keep in mind, that you can only start from where you are, so it’s important not to compare yourself to others, especially non-survivors, in these situations. Their experiences are very different to yours so for them, to have full understanding and empathy of your situation, is highly unlikely. This doesn’t mean they don’t care, rather they can only view it through their non-survivor lens.

Throughout your past year, there will have been occasions where you felt fearful and triggered and yet, somehow, you still managed to face into the situation and deal with it.

Congratulations that is something to celebrate, as when looking back, you will notice that was not always something that felt achievable at the time.

Perhaps this year you could turn what you have managed to achieve already, into something you continue to grow and talk about. You never know who you are reaching, or how, but trust me, someone somewhere is noticing the changes in you, feeling inspired by them, and wanting to do this for themselves.

People don’t always talk about what they see, but it is a mistake to think they are not aware of the behavioural changes you are now showing.

Finally, let your light continue to shine. Respect who you are and know that the best is always in this moment of time, with more possibilities of hope and love than you can ever imagine.

So, if you want to have a better 2025: Breathe that in.